here she is...

Very proudly introducing Isla Catherine, born at home today at 1:30pm. Amazingly, she weighed in at 8lbs 11 1/2 oz. Who knew I was growing such a big bird in there?! No wonder I was having problems walking anywhere in the last weeks. Stretched out abs combined with a heavy baby means walking like a cowboy. Anyway, she's here. She's absolutely beautiful. And I'm so happy.

I told Paul to get the pool as close to ready as possible. I knew this wasn't going to fizzle out and that I would give birth today. I ate some toast and cheese with Jack, had some tea, and more toast with jam a little later. It was all I could stomach, but I knew I had to have something in my belly or else it would be like running a marathon after a fast.

Jane arrived at around 9:30 this morning, when contractions were every 3 minutes or so but still manageable. The pain was very low (mostly around the area of the pelvis at the front where you'd feel SPD pain) but would sometimes shift to my lower back...which of course had me worried because of the back labour fear. I asked Jane if it was normal to feel contractions in the back even if the baby isn't posterior, and she reassured me that it was. Oh how lovely to have her there; she held my lavender wheat pack thingy to my back during contractions, gently stroked my back, and told me how brilliantly I was doing. And you know, I did do brilliantly. I'm so proud at how well I coped this time. No screaming, no hysteria, and far, far less pain felt. Even Mr. TENS became my good friend and actually worked. Maybe it was because I avoided back labour and maybe it was because labour build up gradually, but I coped. I made low, primal noises through the strongest contractions and breathed my way through the weaker ones. I think towards the end I did something resembling Inuit throat singing (but done very badly and only singing about four notes over and over), but it got me through. In between contractions (yes! I had breaks!!), I was perfectly lucid and felt absolutely fine. I cannot be anywhere near giving birth, I thought. I feel far too good. But then my pelvis felt very heavy during contractions and I was starting to get the urge to push. Already? Nah!

I wasn't desperate to get into the pool this time, I just felt it was time. To my surprise, I pushed through the next contraction and felt a very small pop - for the first time, I felt my waters break. It was like a small bubble breaking, probably because I was in the water (how tidy!) Jane told me that I had meconium in my waters, which meant it would be best if I birthed on dry land. She said the baby's heart rate was absolutely fine and stable, but I was worried. I knew that meconium was bad, and I worried that if I couldn't get this baby out fast enough, it would mean a hospital transfer. I was nervous about birthing out of the pool; I love the privacy and comfort of the warm water. I stood at first, leaning on the side of the pool for the next contraction then leaning on the sofa for the one following. I stood in a squatting position, and it was really not comfy. I pushed and pushed, and by this point, I did scream a little because I was afraid. I looked down and saw more meconium had come out, and I cried "My baby...please...be okay, baby". Jane suggested that I get on my knees and rest my upper body on the sofa, and that was better. I was still panicked and just wanted to get the baby out safely, so in between grunting and growling in frustration, I shouted "COME ON, BABY!!"

Not that shocking when you know her weight, but at the time I was taken aback at how difficult it was to push her out and how much it was hurting. I do think the panic made it worse though. Jane told me to breathe through the contractions instead of pushing, and let them do the work of getting her head out - which worked like a charm. She pressed a warm flannel against my perineum as Isla's head crowned, and it felt fantastic. The next contraction, her body started to come out...and that's when Jane noticed that the cord was around her neck. She got her untangled, and I pushed her out with the next contraction. Isla cried right away and scored a 9 on her first Apgar, so she passed with flying colours. Jane told me to go back on my heels and she passed Isla to me through my knees. "It's a girl!" I said in a slight state of shock. We'd been so sure she would be a boy. "Hello beautiful girl. My beautiful girl!" I said over and over.

I sat with her for a while, coaxed her to feed (which she did, brilliantly), and had a lovely cuddle. Paul asked what I wanted to eat, and I requested two runny poached eggs on toast. Beeyootiful. I had a shower, but really didn't feel as great as I did after I had Mia. I hurt. Quite a lot, and still do. My stomach feels like I've done 1,000 crunches, my back is a little sore, I'm still walking like a cowboy, and I'm exhausted. The afterpains are much stronger (which is apparently common with each birth), so when I feed Isla I feel like I'm in early labour again. Even when I'm not feeding her, I'm getting strong period pains every now and then.

But having said that, and having gone through my notes to see how quickly everything went, I'm really pleased. Exhausted, but pleased. And on that note, my little girl is calling and so is my bed.

hello again

Hoo boy, these contractions are getting much more uncomfy. It feels like trapped wind (gas) - rather sharp, but all concentrated low down. I'm guessing these contractions are helping me dilate/efface and that's why I'm feeling everything very low. Still coming every 5 mins or so, but I'm now feeling more pressure with each one. I've just had a bloody show too, so this is all good. Feeling pretty nauseous at the moment, which isn't filling me with joy. I've got tea, toast, and Ranitidine in my system so hopefully that'll keep my stomach happy. What I'm not feeling (so far) is intense back pain - fingers crossed. My lower back does ache, but the wheaty microwavy pack thingy is working well.

I'm tired, though. I don't know if it's possible to rest, but I think I need to try.

what's happenin'

Still having contractions 5 mins apart, but they're getting stronger. I can breathe through them fairly easily and talk through them (sort of). I'm eating and drinking while I've still got the stomach for it, and just chilling as much as possible.

Jack is adorable - he's been up since 5 (Mia cried out and woke him up) and he's so excited. Paul inflated the pool and Jack "helped" by tidying up his toys. He was talking about the baby and speculating about when he (Jack keeps referring to the baby as a "he" now) will appear. He's been taking photos with his camera, so at least this time I'll have pictures of me in early labour! I am determined to get more photos this time, for sure.

Whoa, they're getting stronger. Better tell Paul to fill the pool, even if just part way. There ain't no way I'm getting in that thing fully dilated when it's still filling, I can tell you that right now.

something...maybe? or gas

It's 3:56am and I'm downstairs with a microwaved lavender pack thingy on my back and feeling crampy. Nothing too dramatic and even though I'm timing the pains (Contraction Master now has an application for the iPhone and Touch, whee!), they're not really distinct enough to call contractions. I can feel them start, but no clear finish; the cramping lingers and fades away very, very gradually to a dull, period pain type thing. I did manage to get a couple of hours of sleep upstairs, but the cramping kept waking me up. I felt a strong need to come down here so I could get myself comfy without disturbing Paul.

Junior Mint is wriggling a bit and when I was upstairs, I thought I could feel (almost wrote "him" here - hmmm) the baby poking me out the front with little limbs. Which would be bad because that would mean s/he's posterior. I'm attempting to do a pelvic floor release move to help ensure the baby gets into a good position (not precisely at this moment. I'm not that talented.) I'm going to get on my ball and do the hula in a moment.

Well okay, in the time it's taken me to type this, I'm getting more "proper" contractions. More like strong Braxton Hicks (tightenings) in the bottom part of my bump.

Rock on! Let's get this show on the road!

screeeaaaaaam

Oh my gods, I'm so fed up right now. I'm feeling that irrational irritability that you only get during hormonal times in your life, like the week before your period when you want to throttle old people at Tesco for abandoning their trolleys right in front of you as you try to get past. Well, except that's every trip to Tesco for me. But you get what I mean.

I've been feeling shitty for most of the day, but a short nap this evening and a delicious supper made by Paul really put me in good spirits. And then the good spirits buggered off and left me feeling shitty again. So right now, I'm sitting here thinking about how annoyed I am that I'm having no signs of labour whatsoever and feeling incredibly wound up. I'm tired, but don't want to go to bed. Argh. Just argh. I'm barely "overdue", so why am I so pissed off?

My reflexology lady is at the complimentary health centre tomorrow; maybe I'll see if I can book a relaxing session with her. I just feel so stressed right now, and I hate it. I was feeling zen and chilled up until today, but now every muscle in my body is tense. Not even baked good are helping. That's bad.

Hopefully, I'll have something more pleasant to talk about tomorrow...or the banana bread will have finally kicked in.

mooning

So not only is it a full moon tody, but it's a penumbral lunar eclipse. Whatever the hell that means. I'm hoping it means "the time at which babies are born with ease and peacefulness, particularly if you live in Godmanchester, UK".

*mutter grumble*

I just can't shut my brain off at night lately. I'm exhausted, but I lie there and my brain goes whirrrr whirrr whirrrrrrrrr for ages and won't let me sleep, like I've had too many double espressos. So last night, I couldn't fall asleep until past midnight and was woken at 5am by Mia shouting "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!" over and over. I'm in such a pissy mood today, it's a good thing I'm alone. Well, alone with the dog - but don't worry, I won't take out my foul mood on him. I'm incredibly nauseous, still a little crampy, and everything hurts.

This baby better be popping out soon, or I'm gonna go postal.